Looking in the mirror. It is an average part of the day for a female. They are always looking at their face looking for new blemishes. They are always looking at their body to criticize and wish for a flatter stomach while eating gummy bears and drinking Mountain Dew.
What do I see when I look in the mirror?
I notice a teenage girl staring back at me. She has bags under her eyes from too many late nights filled with studying. She is acquiring crows feet around her eyes from laughing too hard with her friends. But today, those crows feet are smooth and have disappeared. The usual smile isn't there either. What's going on?
Her olive tone skin is unusually pale and is desperate for summer time where she can lay under the rays of the sun and soak it up. Her black hair is long and smooth, many of her friends envy it. Her two almond-shaped eyes are solemn. There are small blue circles around her brown eyes to verify that she is wearing contacts.
She inhales. The neck muscles are easily identifiable. She only inhales like that when she is stressed out or gaining courage.
I notice that she also has two thin lines of white thread hanging from her ears. Earrings? No, they are too long for that. She always wears them when she studies and exercises. Why is she so dependent on them?
I look at myself. Already exhausted from the first week of second semester of freshman year.
Luckily, I know that she has great things ahead of her. Little does she know what God has planned.
this mirror reflection is much more focused on actual visual appearance than abstract thoughts. this is a nice change from larger ideas, and it is interesting how you depict yourself in various stages. maybe go into more depth into how your appearance reflects who you are. good start though, and i liked the first paragraph. maybe address the problem of self-esteem and outward appearance more. thats a topic that anyone today could write a lot about, especially because it has become a widespread problem among young people.
ReplyDeletei also liked the questions you kept on asking, it leaves a lot unanswered but its an honest evaluation
This mirror reflection is pretty neat! I really liked it alot because of the great details that you provide to the reader. It gave me a really good image of what you were seeing in the mirror. A good example of that is, when you talk about your eyes and describe them as almond shape. That was pretty neat! Your approach to this assignment was unique and different from others. I feel like you could have done a bit more with the ending. But oh well, keep up the good work my friend! Great post!
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you talk about what college life has done to you. I can definitely relate to the lack of sleep and everything. I also like how you talk about your ipod earbuds and how it represents your love for music; it's a good symbol. I really appreciate your writing style. I especially like the sentence: "She only inhales like that when she is stressed out or gaining courage." You're closing is also very positive and inspiring.
ReplyDeleteI like how, even though you mostly discuss your physical appearance, readers can learn a lot about your emotions. The bags under your eyes, the crows feet, the inhale; they all show us how you are feeling. The fact that you talk about college shows where you are at in your life, the things that you are trying to accomplish.
ReplyDeleteI like the precise details of your reflection--the blue circles around the contacts, the appearance of the throat. Thanks, Maria for mentioning the ipod earbuds, which helped me understand the "thin lines of white thread." Olivia, you connect your reflection both with the pressures young women feel about their appearance in society, and the pressures you feel as a student, and you help the reader see these things through your eyes, which makes this piece effective. The model essay, "Reflections of My Essence" by Rafael Falcon, also delved into the past, into memory, ancestry, and cultural influences that have shaped him. You could develop your essay by exploring these dimensions.
ReplyDeleteThis comment is from Tabitha: "Good work! I am feeling the stress in the second week of school as well. I really like your descriptions: they are very vivid and help me to picture what you are feeling or dreaming about. I especially like how you wrote about yourself in third person. It makes the writing better, I think. What you might have considered including was part of your family history. Do you see your family when you look in the mirror? However, I liked that you took a more general approach, appealing to females and things that they are likely to experience when they look in the mirror. It was a really good idea."
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